Monday, June 22, 2009
my thoughts
So I recently completed Steve Harvey's, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, and overall it was good. There were definitely some funny parts, some parts that stood out like, "wow that makes sense," and then there were the parts that really bothered me. I was always raised to be an independent person, I don't know if in part that comes from being the only girl in a family of boys or what but I was always taught that if you can't stand on your on two feet you haven't made it. I am grateful that I am as independent and strong as I am. I know so many people that are so dependent on others, whether their family, friends or significant others and they can't live without constant feedback from them. To me that's sad, and I just don't get it. So in one of the last chapters in Harvey's book he goes on to say that strong, independent woman are lonely woman. So as I read this chapter I begin to think, is the fact that I am getting a college education, with hopes for a very successful career, determining my "love life." The chapter continues to say things like if you know how to fix something, act like you don't so your man can fix it and feel better about himself. If you make more money than your man make sure you don't show it or let him know. It also said to allow him to pay for everything. Now I get that men want to provide and I understand that, but what's wrong with chipping in and paying for things? I personally am not the type to allow someone to continually buy me things without repaying the favor, isn't that just common courtesy? The chapter continued with many other words of "wisdom" and as I continued to read and get more angry at Steve Harvey I began to think, if whoever I'm with doesn't appreciate that I am educated and have career aspirations, and have the money to take care of myself, then isn't that person just not right for me? Why should I have to dumb myself down to be in a relationship. So I say to you Steve Harvey- I plan to be independent, strong, successful, happy and loved!
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2 comments:
Sounds to me like that last chapter was written in 1950 by a very insecure male. Times have changed.
That just disgusts me. Why do women need to change in order to appease men? Men should celebrate the accomplishments of the women in their family and encourage that independence. If they don't feel worthy because their partner has a larger tool box or because she's the bread winner then I suggest to the man that he go to therapy and learn how to deal with his own insecurities.
And I do not want to hear the bogus argument about how men are wired differently in that regard. You absolutely cannot group all men together in the "protector/provider" category and all women in the "helpless/damsel in distress" category. And if you think you can, then I encourage men to man up and change because independent women aren't going to deal with it.
So, I say to you, Courtney, that I think you're absolutely right. If a man is intimidated by your genius and your independence then he's not the right man for you. On that same note, I urge you to avoid the lazy moocher men too!
You go on being your fabulous self and leave all the insecure "men" in your dust! The damsels in distress will take them off your hands for you...
And another thing...
Even the intelligent and independent women are not perfect. They have flaws. A partnership is just that and I believe that most men will still feel needed and appreciated by a strong woman when he helps her overcome her flaws...he doesn't need to make more money or be Mr. Handy-Man in order to be there for his strong woman.
I think I'm done now...
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